Watch: Why Sophia Bush is Done Trying to Prove She and Ashlyn Harris Didn’t Have an Affair
Sophia Bush is shedding light on a challenging moment in her career.
Nearly a decade after her shocking exit from Chicago P.D. in 2017, Bush—who played Detective Erin Lindsay on the NBC police procedural drama for four seasons—alleged in her new memoir And I Will Tell You Mine that she left the show after experiencing ongoing abuse from one of her colleagues.
“An inappropriate comment. A raised voice. A hair pull,” she wrote in the book. “A held breath. A clenched jaw. A clenched fist. Fist connecting with flesh. And then, worse. Much worse.”
According to Bush, while the alleged abuse began during a New York City press run ahead of the show’s premiere, it quickly became clear the behavior was becoming a troubling new normal.
“Things done when there were fewer people in the room, but the rooms were never empty. Averted eyes, silenced protests, and whispers when something went wrong,” she wrote. “Knowing our set was the one talked about on all the others. Bracing for conflict, for screaming, for humiliation when something, anything, triggered outsized rage.”
But for four seasons, the 44-year-old shared she tried to prioritize the good of the show and ignore the mistreatment, a lesson she says she learned while filming One Tree Hill. (Bush was one of multiple women who in 2017 accused the show’s creator Mark Schwahn of sexual harassment. Though he never issued a public statement on the matter, he was subsequently fired from his post on The Royals that year.)
“At the time, nobody knew. Not really. Not enough. That’s what I told myself, anyway. I’ve been told I am alarmingly high functioning, but up until then, I had just called it ‘being a professional,’” she wrote. “I’d learned it on my first show: Put the job, the family, above all else, and never let a guy who can’t control himself ding your work ethic or your integrity. You can take it.”
Photo by Jerod Harris/Getty Images
“I’d had a few years of lovely sets in between, but a decade of training never leaves you,” she added, “and in this heightened version of having my ability to perform tested? I snapped right back into that rhythm.”
But after experiencing physical symptoms from the stress, including hives, weight fluctuations and hair loss, Bush made the decision to leave the show during the summer of 2016. As she put it, “I was done holding my breath.”
E! News has reached out to a representative for NBC for comment but has not yet heard back.
For more stars whose exits from hit TV series shocked fans, read on.
Disney/Eric McCandless
Griffin Nagel/Bravo
Peter Gordon/NBC
Lori Allen/NBC
Karwai Tang/WireImage
Virginia Sherwood/NBC
Michael Yarish /Paramount+
Clifton Prescod/Bravo
Clifton Prescod/Bravo
Disney/Mike Taing
Bruce Glikas/Getty Images
Warrick Page/HBO Max
Bill Inoshita/CBS via Getty Images
Virginia Sherwood/NBC
Tina Thorpe/Disney via Getty Images
Bravo/Danielle Levitt
Image Press Agency/NurPhoto/Shutterstock
Mike Coppola/NBC via Getty Images
Todd Williamson/NBC
Disney/Bahareh Ritter
HBO Max/Warrick Page
Liane Hentscher/HBO
Disney/Christopher Willard
Clifton Prescod/Bravo
Netflix
Katrina Marcinowski/HBO Max
Paramount Network
For the latest breaking news updates, click here to download the E! News App
