Watch: Hayden Panettiere Details Agoraphobia Struggle After Her Brother’s Death
Hayden Panettiere is looking back at a traumatic experience.
The Heroes alum alleged she was nearly coerced into participating in sexual acts with an unnamed older star while partying on a boat when she was 18.
“I thought I was oh so mature at 18,” Hayden explained on the May 11 episode of the On Purpose With Jay Shetty podcast, “even though I felt like I could make healthy decisions, safe decisions, I wasn’t capable of being fully aware of what was going on around me.”
“It wasn’t until I found myself in predicaments that I realized—my perspective completely shifted and I realized that I was in danger,” she admitted. “But by the time I’d realized I was in danger, I was quite literally out to sea.”
The 36-year-old recalled having a great time at the party before being pulled away to meet the celebrity, whose name she declined to share.
“It took me by surprise,” she said. “It was somebody led by somebody that I had grown to trust and see as a protector and somebody who had my back. To be walked down the stairs, it was presented as though it was a surprise.”
“It was a very small room and she physically put me in the bed next to this undressed man who was very famous and had his hands like this,” Hayden explained, placing her hands on the back of her head, “just like an average day for him and this is something that happens all the time.”
Although the I Love You, Beth Cooper actress—who further detailed the experience in her upcoming memoir This Is Me: A Reckoning—emphasized how scared she was in that moment, she was prepared to defend herself.
Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images
“I became ferocious,” she recalled. “I was like, ‘This is not happening.’ But I had nowhere to hide. I bolted and I hid wherever I could think of on a boat.”
“There was no jumping off and swimming away,” she continued. “There was nobody who was going to be empathetic to my situation. This was nothing new to them.”
Among the most devastating outcomes was the trust broken between her and the person who led her down the stairs, whom she deeply cared about.
“It’s disappointing when somebody lets you down like that,” Hayden added, “I’d been let down so much before and then when you find somebody.”
“When you really find somebody that you trust, you hold on to them for dear life and you feel so lucky,” she continued. “So to be betrayed like that is just an awful feeling.”
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