Emily Ratajkowski Reveals When She & Ex-Husband Stopped Having Sex

And as for how she felt about herself, the Gone Girl actress became what she learned was “crucial to avoid” growing up: a single mom.

“The term itself could be lodged as an insult,” she wrote. “Having a child with the wrong man was the fastest way to ruin your life as a woman—it meant having no freedom, no choices, no emergency exit. All baggage and no security.”

To combat the tendency for people to “feel sorry for her,” Ratajkowski decided to make a lifestyle change only a “week” after her split, creating a new persona as she threw herself into dating “mania.”

As she put it, “I decided to f–k my way into a new kind of woman. I wanted to destroy the Madonna, the special girl I’d worked so hard to be before an eight-pound baby had torn my vagina in two, and replace her with the whore.”

And the I Feel Pretty star—who was linked to Pete Davidson, Eric Andre, Harry Styles and more following her breakup with Bear-McClard—emphasized just how much of a difference her new approach to her love life was compared to before her marriage.

“Before my separation, I’d never had a one-night stand. I’d never slept with someone the same day I met them,” she explained. “In fact, I’d only slept with eight people: four of whom had been live-in boyfriends, and one of whom was my male best friend in high school.”

“I didn’t f–k anyone I wasn’t pretty sure would fall in love with me,” she added, “because I wanted to be precious.”

Yet, it didn’t take long for Ratajkowski to realize her dating strategy wasn’t working in more ways than one.

“In these months of dating post-separation, I learned two things. The first was that many men are turned on by motherhood,” she wrote, adding, “The second thing was simple wisdom anyone’s grandmother could probably bestow. The more I seemed not to need a man, the more desperately he needed me.”

She continued, “I wasn’t getting off on the sex as much as I was getting off on being romantically inaccessible for the first time in my life.”

But ultimately, Ratajkowski decided the hookup lifestyle and “villain” persona wasn’t for her.

As she recalled, “Despite my performance as the supervillain, a character I’d believed made me impenetrable, I was just as misguided and vulnerable as I’d been in my 20s when I was playing the good girl.”

To learn more about what stars had to say about their sex lives, read on…